In 2021 I wrote a short, slightly embarrassed post about the fact that I do not drink water, I drink whatever is nearest, and the nearest thing is always tea. I ended it by saying I would report back. I did not report back.

The bit I got right

The claim in that post was that habits are furniture. You do not drink more water because you decided to. You drink more water because a container you like is sitting where your hand already goes.

Five years and several failed apps later I still think that is correct, and I think the reason it sounds too simple is that it is unflattering. Nobody wants the answer to be furniture.

Nobody wants the answer to be furniture.

The bit I got wrong

What I got wrong was the size. I kept buying small bottles because they fit in a bag, and a small bottle means refilling, and refilling is a decision, and a decision is a thing I can lose.

A large one removes the decision entirely. You fill it once in the morning and once after lunch and the day is done without you having thought about it at any point. That is the whole mechanism and it is not very inspiring.

What I have actually been using

Three of them, for honestly different reasons, and I am going to be straight about which is which because two of these are basically the same object in different clothes.

I should also say up front what I could not find out. None of these listings publish insulation hours, lid mechanism details, or whether the finish is dishwasher safe. I have asked. If those things decide it for you, ask before you buy rather than after.

01

The stupid one, which is the one that works

It says silly goose on it. That is the product. I bought it as a joke for someone else, could not give it away, and have now carried it every day for a month.

The reason it works is not the joke, though the joke helps. It is the two-way lid: you can sip upright through the built-in straw at a desk, or tilt and drink from the spout on a walk. One bottle covering both behaviours is why a 32oz in this shape beats a bigger one you leave at home.

No insulation hours, leakproof rating or dishwasher guidance published. It is also the cheapest thing in this post by some distance, which is worth knowing before you spend three times as much.

Exclusive Silly Goose FreeSip 32 oz Water Bottle$34.95See it →

02

The one that lives on the desk

Espresso brown with gold detailing, and the reason I have it is embarrassing in a different way: by dwell time, the thing on your desk is one of the most-looked-at objects you own, and mine used to be a bright plastic bottle covered in stickers that belonged to a different decade of my life.

There is no slogan on it, no character and no season, so there is nothing about it to go out of date. That is the argument for the boring one.

Check whether the gold finish is dishwasher safe before you commit; I hand wash mine and I do not know whether I need to.

Espresso Gold 40 oz Tumbler$59.95See it →

03

The one I have opinions about

Functionally the same format as the one above: 40oz, handle, straw, fits the same routine. The difference is entirely that it looks like something and the other looks like nothing.

I am including it because the honest thing to say is that once you are past the mechanism, you are buying an object you have to look at all day, and taste is a real reason. It does not have to be a secret.

Same missing detail as the others: no insulation hours and no lid spec published.

The KM 40oz Tumbler$59.95See it →

The only honest measure

Do not buy the one you think you should want. Buy the one you will pick up without thinking, because that is the entire mechanism and everything else is decoration.

For me that turned out to be the stupid one, which I did not expect and am not thrilled about.

So: report delivered, five years late. It was the size and the lid and where I put it, and none of it was willpower.

The 2021 post is still up if you want the original, more optimistic version of me.

Nora

This is a paid advertisement published on behalf of Lovedline. Nora Bennet is a fictional columnist created by the brand; her photographs are AI-generated and she is not a real customer. The opinions here are the advertiser's. Prices and availability are correct at the time of writing and are subject to change. The product page is the source of truth.